I don’t usually get very opinionated on here but today that will change. Think about it. Do you really know me and my family? Maybe a little bit but I protect our privacy pretty well. After all, I’m the blogger and they didn’t sign up for any of this. I am going to write about something that’s been bothering me a bit – raising millennials.
This has been on my mind for a while and when I read this open letter published in The Liberty Project, I knew it was time to write this post. Most of what I am talking about today will be in general terms. The definition of millennial (generation Y) is those who were born roughly between 1980 – 1997. They are also known as the “me” generation. The ones who got a trophy for just participating in the sport or activity, not because they won or came in first place. They invented the selfie – go figure. In general terms millennials are unattached to organized religion and politics, connected by social media and not in a hurry to get married. They are in debt and have no problem with it. This generation does not remember a time without computers. They are techno savvy and individualist. Money flies out of their wallets whether they have it or not (again the debt thing). As far as work goes, they have a “me first” attitude and are the most doted upon in any workplace. That’s because they are not self-starters. Why? They were coddled and never learned to problem solve. Remember, they were raised with helicopter parents. If you would like to communicate with a millennial, you will need to text.
Here is my question and dilemma. How did this happen? Millennials were raised by us Generation X (1965-1979) and Baby Boomers (1946-1964). And we are nothing like that. We are highly educated, responsible, hard-working and we want to make a difference. We were taught to be loyal to our employers and that if you work hard, you will be rewarded. Our worth is tied to our work and we are results driven. Multi-tasking is our thing and a 60-hour work week seems normal because we invented it. Putting in extra time to get the job done is a no-brainer. Heck, we are happy to take on extra responsibility. Vacation? Do we have to? And if we do take a vacation, we will be working as we do it. Taking phone calls, answering e-mails and having fun on the beach – all completely doable. We were raised by traditionalists who taught us strong core values.
Where is the disconnect? I don’t get it. How did our hard-working generation raise a generation that is more concerned about their work/life balance than getting a promotion and raise? Maybe the answer isn’t that general. This is where it shifts from opinion to personal.
We have four millennials (one is one the cusp) and they are all wonderful people who have come of age. In fact, millennials make up the largest portion of the work force today. We did not helicopter parent our kids. I never understood that philosophy. If my kid forgot a class assignment at home, I let them fall and learn the consequence of it (for the most part). It is ok to fail and learn a hard lesson from it. If they ever got in trouble at school they were in far more trouble with us at home. We really didn’t subscribe to the “everyone gets a gold star on their chart” method. What does that prove? Shouldn’t you want to participate and strive hard to win? We did. But we were definitely in the minority in our community. Most parents loved the “reward the entire team with a trophy” because they showed up. Let’s all be celebrated equally and please don’t draw too much attention to the star player. That’s not fair.
You think I am kidding but sadly I am not. Horrors, I know. Some parents looked at us like we were some sort of medieval tyrants. But this I know – our kids know right from wrong, are hard-working individuals with morals and ethics. Don’t get me wrong, they are not perfect but they are great adults. And they are millennials. So maybe the answer is more about how you parented your millennial.
Now, about Generation Z… we don’t have enough data on them to see where the future is going. Here is the interesting question. I wonder what millennials will be raising?
xoxo- Tanya
All I have to say to that is Amen Tanya! After teaching for 33 year I have seen it and dealt with it. Now that I am retired with a part time job I am working with it. People need to get a clue and let the kids lose and fail at some things. That is what builds character, not always winning. Plus the real world isn’t going to treat you like mommy did.
Thank you Debbie! I really appreciate your comment on the blog.
xoxo- Tanya 🙂
Great post. I’m with you.
Lynley
Thank you Lynley! I appreciate the comment and read all of them.
xoxo- Tanya 🙂
Loved your post today!! I was just talking about this the other day with a friend. Along with problem solving, I also worry about their coping skills. Your last sentence is one thing I had not thought about before, however. Will be very interesting to watch our “babies” raise their babies!
Lisa,
We just discussed this over lunch a while back. I finally sat down and wrote it.
I really appreciate your comment.
xoxo- Tanya 🙂
Enjoy your blog posts, and whole-heartedly agree with today’s! Love your fashion sense, too! As a teacher who has taught on and off for almost 30 years, I have definitely seen the shift. I am constantly “preaching” to my sweet 3rd graders that I need them to grow up and be wise, compassionate people because they will be running the world when I’m old(er) and gray(er)!
By the way, do you pronounce your name, “Tan-ya” or like “Tonya?” Always been curious. Mine starts with “tan” as in the tan I’m working on during my summer vacation! A new school year will be here before I know it!
Blessings!
Tanya,
Hello same name!!! Thank you for reading the blog and leaving a comment today. I pronounce my name like “Tonya” but it is spelled with an “a”. But I will answer to both pronunciations because it can be confusing.
You are spot on with your students! We need them to be leaders!
xoxo- Tanya 🙂
AMEN!!!
I concur with everything you said in this post. I’m so sick of Millenials expecting to be rewarded for breathing. I hate the premise of “Everyone gets a trophy and orange slice.” Man up, people. 🙂
Thanks Laura and Dianne. I appreciate you weighing in.
Love the “everyone gets a trophy and orange slice”. So true!
xoxo- Tanya 🙂
You may not be viewing this with a wide enough lens. I have experienced some of the selfishness and self absorption that you describe- in wealthier suburbs mostly. You leave out some important issues, though. Baby boomers take the cake on the selfishness issue. While they’ve enjoyed economy booms and cheap education, they lambast millennials who are in debt. What choice do they have but to stay positive about debt? Your generation has saddled them with it! You can’t get a degree today without ten times the debt of your generation. You are quick to criticize initiatives to reduce this debt, too. Find me another generation that spends more on staying young and saved less for retirement than the boomers? Bankrupt social security and Medicare? Not our problem. No generation is perfect or easily summed up but the reality is that your kids WILL struggle more than you did unless they were one of fewer and fewer families blessed with enough to shelter them from it (shrinking middle class? Thanks boomers!) I’m also pretty certain that your millenial dates are debatable. If you have an 81-84 baby, like myself (82), many sociologists consider them gen X. Remember the uproar about latch key kids? Hi, nice to meet you.
April,
Hi! Very nice to meet you. Thank you for taking the time to read and leave a comment.
While I don’t agree with you, you bring up some interesting observations.
xoxo- Tanya 🙂